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Sean Ford

Equal playing time. It seems to be the goal of every parent who watches their child from the stands. Nothing deflates a child like the feeling of being less worthy or worse, unwanted, while they stand on the sidelines play after play. And nothing angers a parent like the look of disappointment on their child’s face as they turn from the sidelines and look at their parents, shrugging, with their palms facing up.

When parents register their children to play a sport, do they understand the type of sport they are committing to? I think most times, the answer to that is no. Parents seem to be caught unaware of the progression of sports from an instructional type league to a competitive type league, and honestly, I blame the leagues for that problem. Many leagues are not forthcoming when the discussion turns to playing time and I disagree with this approach. But let’s discuss the progression and deal with the solution to the problem at a later date.

Instructional play is generally the basis of all teams at a very young age. T-ball, rec basketball, town lacrosse, E level football, soccer; all examples of sports played by kindergartners through 2nd grade with an emphasis on instructional play. For many young families in Walpole, their introduction to youth sports tend to fall into one or more of those instructional level sports… and they love it. Little Johnny and little Stephanie are running up and down a field with their team like a ten headed monster trying to devour a ball. Occasionally, the little athlete scores a goal or makes a great play and the entire family is set for the rest of the week; they’re thrilled! Grandparents congratulate the little tykes, parents are enthusiastic, and the players are beaming as they leave the field or court. Life is grand!

Coaching advice

But what happens later on when a competitive atmosphere emerges? Almost as incredulously as a slap in the face, parents are left wondering what is happening? Why is coach not playing my son or my daughter? Why is that boy playing all the time? Great, my child’s team has won the game, but now I have to ride home in the car and try not to show my own disappointment while building up my child’s confidence at the same time. What gives??

Welcome to competitive play, where playing time is not equal and the coach is tasked with winning the game. Is it a win at all costs scenario? Some times. Does the coach know what’s he’s doing to the children? Mostly, and believe me, there are coaches that eat themselves up inside if they feel as though they’ve slighted a child. Of course, there are also coaches who have made peace with the methods and the outcomes. It is what it is, and I’ve personally been on both sides of that coin. I tend to be more of the former and less of the latter; I don’t enjoy it all the time, but when it comes down to disappointing 1 or 2 boys over the disappointment of an entire team over a loss… I pick the benefit of the team.

For me, the most painful transition time from instructional to competitive play tends to be in the 10 – 13 year old range. It’s right around 5th grade when a child and his/her family realize that the play time has decreased. What follows is a difficult progression of stages:

1. Shock and surprise. Wait a minute. What’s going on? Why isn’t my child getting into the game. Probably just a mistake. Then 3 games later with no improvement we move on to the next step.
2. Disappointment and anger. Consoling the child, trying to smooth it over, while at the same time commiserating with a spouse or a friend, disparaging the coach, and then relegating yourself to move on to the next step.
   

   Youth sports family

3. Confronting the coach. There are many different ways in which parents confront the coach about a lack of playing time. In some instances, there’s a very abrupt exchange which never ends well and never settles the situation in any direction; this thing just festers. In most instances, it’s a civil exchange of questions and answers. The civil exchange generally ends well, but the parent is usually not happy, just better informed.
4. Skills improvement. This is when some level of effort is expended in order to either improve the young athletes skills by increased practice time, extracurricular training, or a simple change in attitude towards ‘the game’, OR it’s a try-as-hard-as-you-can and then give up strategy. Next step.
5. Realization and acceptance. Ok, we’ve been at this sport for a few years now and you know what, either you’re having fun or you’re not. If you’re having fun being part of the team, then you have to accept your role and make the most of it, but if you’re not having fun… last step.
6. Quitting. Moving on from a sport which you had previously enjoyed is difficult. I’ve had lengthy discussions with parents and players on this very subject. If you’re lucky, the child finds a new sport at which they either excel or just plain have fun playing. If you’re unlucky, the child deals with a bit of depression and has nothing to do.

Of course, there is the flip side to this issue and that is the progression into competitive play and excelling at it based on above average athletic skills. Now we’re talking some fun. The family pride and the player’s swagger when it’s realized that the youth athlete is actually very good at their chosen sport or sports is something to experience. When your child is a leading scorer or skilled defensive player, a top notch goalie, a starting point guard, the quarterback, the star running back, the deadly pitcher, or the killer catcher, well then you fall into this world of extreme highs and doors are opened where your child is exposed to the best of the best. Championship games become realizations, MVP awards are possibilities, and dreams of further success take flight.

As in life, the progression whether it be up or down is simply that, a progression. It’s a pathway that happens and your child will follow a path with which s/he feels most comfortable. Families, too, begin to move towards the sport where the child has the most success; some become known as a football family, a soccer family, a lacrosse family, a baseball family, a basketball family, etc. That is not to say that a family is only one thing, of course that is not true, but there does tend to be a force towards one universe over another. It’s a grouping, and it’s community building, and it’s good for the young athletes as well as the family as a whole.

So, yes, the transition from instructional play to competitive play can be challenging; for some the transition is difficult, for others it is easy, but it’s change that we can live with. The secret to this transitional time is the positive attitude of the player, the positive attitude of the family, and the guidance of the parents.

Remaining positive and supportive is probably the secret to most things in life, and so it is true here as well.

- Sean

Sean Ford

As we’ve all noticed, the weather has taken a turn for the warmer lately. This type of quick turn around from the cold, drizzly days of just a couple of week ago to the more recent sunny, 85degF type of days has our young athletes trying desperately to cope during practices and games.

Too often I’ve witnessed players taking a break during practice or a game without hydrating. The usual response to, “Please have a drink while you’re resting”, has been, “I’m not thirsty.” The idea here isn’t to wait until the player is thirsty, but to actually hydrate prior to a game or practice and then continue to hydrate throughout the game or practice. If a player waits to hydrate once s/he becomes thirsty, then it’s already too late; the player is now dehydrated.

Here’s the deal, don’t just allow the player to bring a sports drink or water bottle with him or her to the sports event, have them begin to hydrate at least an hour prior to the performing. This is especially important during these hot, sunny days when a player’s body can start off feeling fine, but quickly sweat off or burn off any internal hydration. Of course, Gatorade type drinks are great for hydration during a physically stressful event, but also worth consideration are the less sugary types of drinks like Propel, though do not generally replace electrolytes to the same extent as Gatorade. Water is also great, but it does not replace the electrolytes lost during heavy exercise. Unfortunately for coaches and players in Walpole, our new sythetic field at Turco (High School), does not allow Gatorade-type drinks due to the chemical reaction between the beverage and the new playing surface (I’m researching this now to try and determine if it’s an urban legend), so we must bring plenty of water with us.

In the end, there’s not much more we can do other than to keep hydrated. The players bodies will acclimate to the weather conditions, but this transitional period is difficult. Coaches must be aware of the changing conditions and force the hydration issue because our young athletes will wait too long, it’s a fact so let’s help them through this tough period.

Sean Ford

Every child who enters a youth sport has dreams of scoring a goal, hitting a homerun, scoring a touchdown, or sinking a basket and winning the game. Every child athlete has these dreams and every child athlete should be given equal opportunity to realize those dreams.

Have you ever witnessed this at a game? Starting players step onto the field, or the court, and they play a long shift or series of plays only to be substituted out when they’re winded and replaced with “second string” players? How long do the “second string” players stay on the field? 1 minute? 3 minutes? 4 minutes if they’re lucky? It happens. It absolutely happens. It’s difficult to let all the players play equally, especially in sports like football or basketball where you actually have a starting squad with dedicated positions; it’s hard to do, and it takes some real effort to pull it off. Can it be done? Of course it can, but it takes a dedicated and compassionate coaching staff to pull it off.

We’re lucky in youth lacrosse, where I am a coach, because we don’t have “starting” players and we don’t have dedicated positions; I suspect the same is true of soccer, but maybe less so with baseball where you need to have a pitcher who can actually throw the ball well or someone gets hurt.

It’s my opinion that youth sports in Walpole should strive to ensure that every player leaves a game feeling as though they were part of the outcome, for better or worse. No child athlete deserves to feel left out or worse, unwanted, because the coach decided to play the more skilled players, more often, in the quest to win. That is not to say that the coach should not strategically place the more skilled players in a position to score or affect the outcome of the game, but it should not be at the expense of the other players.

Ok, let’s put this out there, some players are more skilled than others, some players give their all while others cruise, and then others are just naturally gifted with athletic ability.  I will never discount natural ability, drive, or desire, and I will always reward effort, but the idea of equal playing time and offering the players the opportunity to live their dream is so much more important than “the win” or “the great play”. Let the players win as a team, and also let the players lose as a team, either way it’s a character building opportunity that we can’t afford to keep from the young athletes of Walpole. In the end, we want the children of Walpole to leave a sports program as a better person with a strong feeling of self worth and with a head full of positive memories that s/he will take with them for the rest of their lives.

Today’s youth players are tomorrow’s parents, tomorrow’s coaches, and tomorrow’s referees. Today’s coaches in Walpole have a responsibility to set a positive example for our players to ensure that they will carry forward what they’ve learned and what they’ve seen. The idea here is to lead from the front and our players will follow.

Sean Ford

This past February I attended a Positive Coaching Alliance seminar hosted by the Mass Bay Youth Lacrosse League and it was time well spent.

The PCA seminar was held at Gillette stadium and lasted approximately 2 hours. The PCA presenters covered subjects such as positive reinforcement, recognizing and rewarding effort, redefining the concept of “winning”, and equal playing time for our youth players. In addition to the presentations, there were “breakout” discussions covering the topics of “how to handle game time conflicts” and “what to say to a team prior to a tough game”.

I feel that the lacrosse program in Walpole is a leader in this area of coaching training and I think every program in town would benefit from this type of training. When it comes down to it, the coaches are the face of every youth sport, and we all want to make the best impression when we can. Positive coaching training not only benefits the youth sports programs, it benefits the very youth that we claim to want to guide towards victory in our various endeavors.

So often we see coaches and parents become so engrossed in a youth game that they will sometimes lose touch with what is really important about youth sports and the adults will actually lose their temper over a perceived slight or injustice on the field. Let’s face it, coaches will sometimes yell at players, parents will occasionally yell at referees, and when it gets really ugly we find parents yelling at other parents. What are we teaching our youth athletes with this type of behavior? What sort of example are we setting?

Youth sports are a wonderful way for children to learn how to cope with the disappointment of a loss, and also how to be gracious after a win; it’s character building. This is where positive coaching can really shine; lead the players by example, show some class, and never lose your temper or enter an argument when the players are present because it’s a losing proposition every time.

It’s been said that the only thing wrong with youth sports today is adults. Walpole should be different and Walpole should lead the effort to show that adults don’t have to ruin youth sports. Adults should set the example, show the players how to win, lose, or draw with class and with dignity. I see this sort of example leadership every day, and thankfully, the bad examples are few and far between. Walpole is extremely lucky to have dedicated adults who volunteer their time and effort for youth sports, now let’s take that next step and become the town with the best coaches possible. Let’s move beyond a simple CORI check and let’s actually get some coaches training.